*gets on tiptoes to whisper into dairy cow’s ear* why ya titty out
How short are you that you need to stand on your toes to talk to a cow?
Looks like we got ourselves a city slicker
How freaking talk are your cows? My cousins own a dairy farm and the cows are about chest height.
You sure talk a lot of shit for someone whose cousin has short cows
*wakes up at 9* nice
*immediately falls asleep, wakes up at noon* less nice
everyone’s got that couple of fanfics that you just read over and over even though you practically know it by heart because it’s so perfect it’s like a favorite book and you just catch yourself clicking to a random chapter on it because it’s so good it’s comforting to reread it
When you see someone with a happy icon make a really angry text post
actual footage of dogs when there are no people around
what do we say to the god of death?
me: sean bean is that way
when you get your period at school
If Ariel is the daughter of Triton who is the son of Poseidon, brother of Zeus whose son is Hercules, doesn’t that mean Ariel is Hercules’s niece not cousin? Wouldn’t Triton be his cousin?
actually it would make them first cousins once removed, since your niece is your siblings child
and yes, triton and hercules are cousins. probably funnier than ariel and hercules being cousins
one is not like the others
welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous. i’m seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and i just have to say i’m really disappointed